Saturday, August 8, 2009

if i wanted to die before i got old, i should've started some years ago.

I remember I had a reason for writing this. Not just in this case, because I've forgotten the basic point I hoped to achieve, but as a blog. I used it to get the facts out and work out the problems in my life in a logical, Holmes-ian way. These days, not so much.

I'm counting down the days until I'm out of this pattern I've had myself in for the last 13 years. Changes over time, but still the same old formula of the same old people and the same old activities. And as with majority of constants, the process gets old and tired before long and leaves you wanting something new, something different. Hell, something terrifying, even.

I don't even have escapism anymore. The brief attempts to alleviate my condition of overthinking and get myself out of my head no longer work, perhaps the fact that it's just a placebo has been realized.

I'm not going to finish this. I wish I had spent more energy on this earlier, but right now, I don't have the fucking effort in me. A break can really take it out of you.

And new Brand New is fucking disappointing. Fuck you Jesse Lacey, you piece of shit.

1 comment:

Tempe Democrat said...

The new Brand New does suck.

Dude, you're 17, fucking enjoy it. Wait until you are sitting behind a desk in an office. You will long for the days of 17.