Brief lapse in my (hopefully) new attitude to life, last night. Lost confidence, and for a while was considering giving up on what I wanted to achieve. But, I reassessed the situation, and even though I pretty much fucked up again, I'm confident I can solve this.
I'm finally seeing good aspects of myself as well as the overwhelming list of negatives, and I'm seeing now that I do have potential. I have capability, I'm ingenuitive enough in new situations, and I can win a crowd over. I just need to remember this when I'm in the middle of it.
Improvement can take a while, but, again, I'm confident that I can fix this. Optimism feels so strange.